dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
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Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
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We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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