dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
