i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
