Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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