Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
