My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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