i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
