i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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