I am spending my child support on dildos
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
