I wanna bring you to show and tell
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Randomize