I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize