You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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