Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
