chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize