She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
