It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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