obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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