I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
