I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I wish you could order shots online.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
