Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
