Betty ford says i'm here all night
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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