you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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