I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
