there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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