I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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