this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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