you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
