The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
