your thong is hanging out like whoa
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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