Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
