I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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