To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
