two words: eviction party
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
