I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
