how can u be prego again
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
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