Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
