We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I need water and some morals
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
