Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
