I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
