my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
