I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
