I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize