u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
