I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
