Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
