I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
