he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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