She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
What drink are we having for lunch?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
