Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
two words...techno handjob
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
