i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
