when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
