sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
