I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
