READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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