Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
