...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
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