I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
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i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
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Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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