i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
