Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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