I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
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The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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