i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
